Sex Answers: Where Do You Find Them?

In my work as a sexuality educator I can report one thing for certain: everybody has questions about sex. They can come in the form of intimacy questions, relationship questions or just plain questions about sex. Sometimes when I am giving an educational program no one will ask a question but I will get stopped in the parking lot on the way to my car by someone who needs an answer to something they were too shy to ask in front of the group. Few things surprise me anymore.

What concerns me is where people get their information about sex. There is so much inaccurate information about sexuality floating around. People have told me they still believe you can get HIV from a toilet seat or you can’t get pregnant the first time you have sex. People who are very sex negative and want to push their value system off on others seem to stretch the truth more than a little to discourage sexual activity.

People are relying more and more on the internet for their sex education. Given the fact that many don’t receive it at home or in school they are not left with a lot of choices. If you Google any topic about sexuality millions of websites come up. How do you sort out the fact from fiction? It can be very difficult for someone who doesn’t know what they are looking for.

That is why is it is important to look for reputable websites that have people with good credentials working for them. People who have expertise in sexuality are the best resources. You can always Google them as well and check them out and make sure they are the real deal. Look at the “About” section of the website and see who is running the show. How are they funded? It is from a non-biased fact based organization or a place that has its own agenda? Do they have resources for you to find more information or go for help with a problem? If they don’t that may be a sign that they are not the best place for accurate information.

It can be hard to ask questions about what for many is a very personal topic. One benefit of the internet is it allows people to remain anonymous. And I have to give props to those that realize they need to learn or have an issue and know they need to deal with it for even taking that first step and starting to look for answers. They should just be sure they are looking in the right place.

Sexual Healing – Still The Best Medicine

During sexual intercourse, there are noticeable and scientifically measurable changes in the rate of breathing, heartbeat, blood circulation, perspiration and glandular secretions of both partners. Less noticeable but equally present are changes in emotional energy and brain wave energy vibrations. All these have varying modifying effects on the whole body.

The efficacy of therapeutic love-making rests on the knowledge that some rhythmic movements, some sexual intercourse positions, certain postures, and sexual activities produce and re-direct energy flow patterns within the body of copulating partners.

By adopting certain sexual positions, and controlling the rhythm and tempo of love-making, the therapeutic benefits of sexual intercourse can be activated. The fundamental principle behind sexual healing is the circulation rather than dissipation of sexual energy.

There are several of these healing postures and rhythms; and their efficacy depends on the man’s ability to control ejaculation, and the woman’s readiness to circulate healing energy.

The woman’s sexual role is very important for effective generation of the restorative and healing powers of sex. She must wholly and happily surrender herself to give sexual pleasure without reservations; and to receive sexual pleasure without reservations. That way, she opens up her awesome powers of rejuvenation that has a limitless potential to heal both herself and her partner.

The hidden potency in sex as a source of mutual healing and rejuvenation can only be experienced through wise and correct indulgence in sexual intercourse. Correct sexual experience improves vitality, increases mental power, stabilizes the emotions, balances the elements, and illumines the spirit.

A passionate, harmonious and balanced sex life promotes good health, creativity and productivity through a natural and smooth alignment of Mind and Body. When there is no inhibition and no suppression of erotic feelings and fantasies, high levels of sexual freedom and ecstasy is attained by the couples; and this generates and circulates strong healing energy within their bodies.

Sexual desire in man and woman is natural. It is perfectly normal to have erotic sexual feelings and fantasies, and you should express it, not only responsibly but also respectfully, in ways that heal and restore the body, stimulate the mind, and uplift the spirit of Man.

There is superlative healing power in sex. When practiced correctly, sex can heal and rejuvenate the whole body – physically, emotionally and spiritually. On the other hand, incorrect sexual practices can deplete mental, spiritual, emotional and physical energy. Sex can bind, and sex can liberate the spirit of man.

Abstinence Only Sex Education – Does it Work?

Does abstinence only sex education work? The United States government funded a nine -year, 7 million-dollar study, to discover whether abstinence only sex education classes are effective. Abstinence education encourages students to wait until marriage to have sex. The Bush administration financed the establishment of thousands of these programs across the United States and wanted to gauge their impact. The study found that students who participated in abstinence-only education programs were just as likely to engage in premarital sex as students who did not participate in such programs. This is not good news for the proponents of abstinence only education. It leaves one wondering what is the most effective way to teach teens about sexual behavior and its consequences. I decided to ask the ‘experts’, some high school students.

Most kids think that high school is way too late for sex education. Elementary school is when kids should be learning about abstinence only. According to the high school students I talked to, most sixteen year olds are already sexually active. Don’t expect them to listen to anyone teaching them about abstinence.

Most teens don’t like to be told what to do. They say if abstinence- only programs just ‘straight-out’ tell kids ‘don’t have sex’, they won’t listen. You have to provide teens with the facts and statistics. Tell them about the long-term problems that can result from having sex before marriage and then let them make the decision about whether or not to practice abstinence on their own.

A number of high school students I spoke to claimed the main problem is most teens don’t have a communicative relationship with their parents. So many parents are busy with work and social lives of their own, or they are divorced and don’t live nearby and so they don’t spend much time with their kids. Kids might learn the hazards of pre-martial sex if their parents were around enough to teach them. According to some high school students the government should be spending millions of dollars to teach adults how to parent, not on teaching teenagers how to stay abstinent.

One young woman wisely observed that teens are only doing what they see as socially acceptable. The problem lies with adults and the behavior they role model. They are showing the younger generation that it is okay to ‘sleep around.

I was reminded by many of the students I talked to that kids don’t like to be told what to do, especially by adults. Maybe if someone developed a sex education program that didn’t force a rulebook down teens’ throats they would listen and not just treat it as a joke. One girl told me she had decided to abstain from pre-martial sex but not because of a sex education program. All it took was hearing her mother’s story. Her mother had made mistakes when it came to sex that the girl certainly didn’t want to emulate.

One thoughtful young man said religion needs to play a greater role. He told me lots of kids believe they should be abstinent and save themselves for their honeymoon because of their religious values. He wished more religious groups would be outspoken about their support for abstinence.

Several kids told me lots of unprotected sex happens when teens are under the influence of alcohol and drugs. They are also a huge part of the problem.

The high school students I talked with had wise and insightful things to say about abstinence only education. Why spend 7 million dollars on a study when you’ll probably learn the most by just talking to the teens in your community?